


just sleep

by superwholocked_wizard



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-03
Updated: 2017-04-03
Packaged: 2018-10-14 10:17:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10534443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/superwholocked_wizard/pseuds/superwholocked_wizard
Summary: Finn had never allowed himself to be woken by nightmares, choosing only to sleep through his nightly terrors, yet one night, with poe beside him, he is forced from his sleep as they finally became too much to bear.





	

**Author's Note:**

> ITS HELLA GAY
> 
> ok anyway hullo another stormpilot fic, read and enjoy!
> 
> if you don't oh well thanks for stopping by anyway
> 
> sophie xx

Nightmares seemed to be very common in the barracks of the resistance, soldiers screaming out to loved ones who would never get a chance to reply, or begging for them to stop, whoever ‘them’ was, either way, it was normal for a pilot to run only on what was commonly known as ‘energy juice’ after a night of restlessness, or even just trudge through the day quietly, trying to dull the aching of yet another headache from yet another bad dream.

Finn, of course, didn’t notice anyone else displaying these symptoms as he was only wrapped up in his own world on most days, trying to make sense of the screaming that woke him every morning and greeted him every night.

Of course it wasn’t Finn screaming, he couldn’t afford the luxury of letting himself show that he was afraid, yet when he closed his eyes it resumed, night after night after night getting too loud so that he couldn’t think. At times, he had to pinch himself to realise that he wasn’t in the bunks of the first order, but in a small yet comfortable room, on a bed that he could call his own, as well as the sleeping form of a resistance pilot which lay so peacefully beside him every night. Of course, this wasn’t the reason that he couldn’t seem to get himself to wake up, he had been programmed to do this from a young age.

If a child in the resistance had nightmares, the penance was a beating to rival any that they had received before, either leaving the child to be sleepless or unable to wake up. Even if they had let themselves be beaten to oblivion, there was a further price to pay at the hands of the other children. Each child that kept the others awake would be constantly patronised one way or another, wether that was through bullying or physically hitting each other, and the adults didn’t ever seem to discourage any of it, if fact, some even joined in on special occasions.

Finn was never that child.

He had always taught himself that any sort of emotion that he demonstrated would immediately be punished by himself and the others around him. He had never wet himself, he had never cried in front of others, and he had never, above all else, let a nightmare wake him. It could have been because of how he feared the consequences so completely, or that his reality always seemed worse than anything his nightmares could conjure up at any given time, yet now he felt it harder to let himself sleep through when he could wake up and face the reality of safety not the disapproving face of another senior officer with a baton ready to give him another lesson.

This time, it got too bad to bear.

Whilst still asleep, Poe felt Finn tensing, holding him tighter than usual and seeming to whisper something under his breath. When he finally woke up, he found that a portion of his shoulder was wet, before turning to see Finn.

He was bunching the sheets up in his fists whilst his head moved erratically from side to side, tears falling freely down his face as he kept muttering under his breath. His breathing had sped up and his brow was furrowed in despair at a scene that Poe couldn’t even begin to imagine.

He felt himself move closer to Finn, placing his hand on his bicep, only to have Finn flinch away and let out a quick shout of fear.

Panicking, Poe grabbed Finn by the arm and began to shake it, trying to get him to wake up, and as he did so Finn’s mutterings became clear, as he heard him whispering the same phrase over and over again.

“I’m so sorry, please, stop.”

The faster that Poe shook Finn’s arm, the louder he seemed to get, until he gave out a final scream and his eyes shot open.

He sat up and put his head in his hands, his breathing still far too fast for someone who was just sleeping. He had now closed his eyes and was rubbing his hands on his hair, trying to slow the pace of his hammering heart. The tears were still flowing, yet he did nothing to try and stop them, letting himself feel some semblance of what it was to humanly feel pain.

A warm pressure made itself known in the center of his bare back, making him stiffen, before melting into the touch of someone familiar and welcoming the small comfort that Poe gave him.

He felt the bed shift as a weight made itself towards him, and leant against his side. Poe lay his forehead on the nape of Finns neck and brought his second arm around his waist, before traveling upwards towards his shoulders, the past the arms that were still shielding Finn from him, before he loosened them and let them fall to the side. He then let his hand find Finn’s cheeks, wiping away the tears which were still falling. Finn sat still, keeping his lids closed, yet savoring every touch that made him feel more awake.

Poe removed his head from Finn’s shoulder and shifted himself so that he could see what he was thinking, only to be met by a face of neutrality.

“Finn?”

He heard a shallow intake of breath follow.

Slowly, Finn opened his eyes to reveal the dark brown orbs that hid behind his lids, as his eyes met a comforting and familiar pair of caramel ones, which were looking up at him in concern and worry.

He finally let out a breath and gave Poe a small, consoling smile.

“I’m ok.” he whispered, his eyes flitting away from Poe’s.

“Bullshit.”

Finn looked back back to Poe and gave a quick laugh. Of course he wouldn’t accept that answer, he may be the best pilot in the resistance, but he was also the most stubborn, by a longshot.

“Look here mr ‘big deal,’ I know a nightmare when I see one, and let me tell you that is one of the worse I’ve ever set eyes on. You know that I love you, and that I will do anything to help you, but unfortunately ‘telling the truth’ is one of the conditions of the care package.”

When Poe finally finished, he sucked in a deep breath, even he could tell that it was impressive that he had completed the whole rant in one breath of air, but it sure as hell didn’t feel it.

He kept his eyes trained on Finn, following every clench of his jaw, and every twitch of his hands. He was waiting, his breath bated as he tried not to seem to anxious for information.

Finn gave his hair a rub before letting his hand fall to the bed again.

“I remember some stuff, can’t always tell what’s real about it and what’s not,” he paused, biting his lip, before resuming, “My family, at least I think they’re my family, running, hiding, a woman screaming, a few actually, then-” he cut himself off, unable to continue, as a new wave of emotion engulfed him and his voice became hoarse.

“Hey hey, hey.” Poe wrapped his arms around Finn’s neck, trying to calm him down.

“Hey, listen, everyone gets nightmares.” he whispered into Finn’s ear, “just because they’re bad, doesn’t mean that you have to deal with them alone.”

Finn nodded against Poe’s shoulder, wrapping his hands on his waist.

For once in his life, he let himself feel.

He let himself feel the pain of abandonment that had stung him when he was first forced to join the First Order, the disgust that he felt towards himself when he made a boy cry for the first time, and the last, and he felt the pain of betrayal. The betrayal that he had made to so many people as he watched as their families died in front of him and he stood and watched stoically. All of this came out as he felt Poe’s hands run on his hair, comforting him as he wept on his neck.

Eventually, Finn calmed down slightly and lay down with Poe, his head laying on Poe’s chest and feeling the steady rhythm of his heartbeat, as well as the repetitive movement of Poe’s chest which breathed as if on a timer.

At some point, Poe had draped his arm around Finn protectively, and they both felt the effects of sleep weigh down on them.

The next morning, Poe would wake up to find Finn still in that exact same position, with his arm wrapped around Poe’s torso, and he would smile, because for the first time in a while, Finn had slept well, without any nightmares to plague him, or any memories to haunt him, just sleep.

Just sleep.


End file.
